Presenting...

Each week, famed chef and Michelin Star winner Chef Gordon Ramsay steps out of his own five-star establishments and into some of the country's most interesting restaurants to help them turn their businesses around, or close their doors forever, in the hit TV show Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares.

Whoa, that's one of the things that I did during my tenure at Creo/Kodak. Not with restaurants though, but with printshops. So step aside Chef Gordon Ramsay - this is where the blanket really hits the plate as revealed in some of the conversations I had during those years. (Season 2 can be found HERE.)

Chef Gordo to prepress: Do you use any kind of plate curves?
Prepress: Absolutely. We run all our plates dead linear. 50% in the file is exactly 50% on the plate.
Chef Gordo to prepress: But you run different screen frequencies and sometimes FM screens don't you?
Prepress: Yes. But we're quite proud that no matter what screening we use, our plates are dead accurate linear.
Chef Gordo: Bloody hell!

Chef Gordo to prepress: What are those proofing booth lights?
Prepress: Ah, well, management orders those.
Chef Gordo: OK, so what are they?
Prepress: I think they're cool white fluorescents. They might be warm though.
Chef Gordo: Not D 5000s then?
Prepress: No, I think management figured these were just as good - but much cheaper.
Chef Gordo: Bloody hell!

Chef Gordo to press room: That's a German press with closed loop color control, yes?
Press operator: Yeah.
Chef Gordo to prepress: Your Spectro's are from where?
Prepress: The U.S. of course.
Chef Gordo to press operator and prepress: Do you realize that your instruments are set to completely different standards? It's like one department is speaking Euro and the other U.S.
Prepress to Pressroom: Sh*t! So when we ask for certain densities your instruments report different numbers?
Chef Gordo: Bloody hell!

Chef Gordo: "Oh my Gawd!"
Chef Gordo to prepress: What are the target densities that the pressroom runs to?
Prepress: Uh, well, K: 1.70, C: 1.40, M: 1.40, Y: 1.05 - I think.
Chef Gordo to press room: What are the target densities that you run to?
Press room: Let's see, you mean typical? I think they're about K: 1.60, C: 1.30, M: 1.20, Y: 0.90
Chef Gordo: Bloody hell!

Chef Gordo to press room: When was the last time you calibrated your instruments?
Press room: Well, I'm not sure.
Chef Gordo: Not sure? Where's your calibration target? Your records?
Press room: Well, I'm sure they're around here somewhere. Frank! Have you seen those funny looking color patches around somewhere?
Frank: Color patches? Gee, I don't remember. Color patches, eh? Hmmm.
Chef Gordo: Bloody hell!

Chef Gordo - Bloody hell! See you next time!